Maturity And "Teenagers"

Hi everyone,
My post this week is about maturity and living above cultural norms. Please hear me out and do not think I am bragging. People tell me how smart how I am, and how well I write, etc. Why do people say that? Why do I somehow stick out from the rest of the crowd? Why am I seen as some smart young woman? Why am I seen as so mature? I think the answer is in what we expect of young adults and how my generation is trained. We do not expect enough of our young adults.

In our culture young adults are not trained and expected to act as young adults. They are trained to act like "teenagers" whatever those are. They are given a cultural excuse to rebel against their parents, to act like children who get the privileges of adults without having any responsibility. And I am just going to say it and I think I am speaking for a lot of Christian young adults who are classified as "teenagers". Christians, please stop saying things about teenagers acting up when they reach their teen years like that is a normal part of life that every person will go through when they turn 13 until they reach 19 or 20. Please stop saying that when a person is being defiant they are just acting like a teenager. Please stop giving everyone an excuse for their actions simply because they are a teenager.

Please stop stereotyping people between the ages of 13 to 19. We as Christians are called to be different. We young adults who are Christians do not want to be grouped in with the teenagers of our culture who have nothing expected of them. It should not be a surprise that we can cook a meal, or interact with someone who is not our own age, or care for younger siblings, or actually be able to understand what the pastor is talking about in the sermon because we actually read our Bible once in a while, or that we are able to understand terms like "justification" or "atonement" or "apologetics" etc because we have been trained in the Word of God. 

These things should not be a surprise. As a young adult Christian I want to be more than the teenagers of the world. I should stand out from the world, but my ability to understand things of God and expressing myself in writing and conversation or my interest in apologetics and such should not be a strange sight at Church. I suggest that the reason that I stick out even among some other young adults from professing Christian families is because of Christians buying into the culture's idea of what we should expect from young adults.

People in the Church have bought into the idea that people between the ages of 13 and 18 or 19 should not be able to communicate with people outside of their age group, they have bought into the idea that young adults cannot learn how to run a household and care for younger siblings, they have bought into the idea that a young adult can act however they want and they do not have to take any responsibility for their actions. This is not how Christian young adults should act. We should be expected to be preparing for our lives as adults which will come quickly. We should be able to survive in the real world.

People say I am sheltered. I think teenagers who are in youth group all the time who never talk to anyone older than them besides their family members, who do not understand basic doctrines of the Christian faith do so because instead of actually doing Bible study in youth group they play games. People who instead of surviving in the real world sit at home playing video games while their parents are expected to do all their chores, how are these people going to survive in the real world?

I am learning how to be a wife and mother. Oh yes, that is right I've been told I do not have to worry about that because I am not supposed to get married for years because after all I am only 14.
The idea that marrying at 14 would be wrong is yet another cultural idea that the Church has bought in to which is no where in Scripture. But back to the point at hand, I am being trained to be part of the real world.

I am also being trained as a Christian who can clearly articulate my faith and defend it against attacks from the enemy. I am being trained in the fear and admonition of the Lord. I am being trained to be a help meet suitable to my future husband if that be God's will for my life. I am being trained to train any children that may be entrusted to my care in future years. I am being trained as a ballistic missile in the army of the Lord. I am being trained as a soldier who will be in a spiritual battle to my dying breath. As a Christian I am always going to be on the front lines of the battle. Why should I put off my training until I am older? Right now is a great opportunity for me to learn and practice skills that we needed throughout my life.

For all Christian young people who are seen as the strange ones in your Church because you are striving toward maturity in your walk with the Lord, please realize that you are not alone. There are other young adult Christians who are like you. We are seen as the strange ones that only hang out with the adults because we have nothing in common with the other teenagers who want to talk about the latest TV show. It is okay to be seen as the strange one because you want to talk about the Bible while the other girls want to talk about which boy is the cutest.

It is okay that you find more in common with the pastor than with the girl closest to your age whose sunday school class you are "supposed" to be in. It is okay to be seen as the strange one who wants to take books out of the Church library that have to do with theology instead of the romance novel. It is okay to be seen as the strange one because you listen to a James White podcast instead of which hip hop song is the most popular. Do not give up if you are seen as the strange one who does not fit in with the other young adults. Find an adult who will talk with you when all the youth group kids see you as an outcast. Find someone who will encourage you in your walk with the Lord. Do not worry about fitting in. Being strange for the right reasons is okay.

I hope people do not take me as rude but I want people to stop stereotyping Christians along with non-christians. We are different. Do not hold us up to the same standard. You can expect something more from us than you would expect from a secular teenager. Please start treating us as young adults. I know we are young but we are still all brothers and sisters in Christ no matter our age. We should be able to carry on a conversation about the Bible on a level more than a first grader.

We do not need to play games during youth group we can stand a Bible study. We do not need to be segregated into a class of people our own age. We can carry on a conversation with adults. We can talk about theology and apologetics. And none of these things should be seen as strange. These things should be expected of young adult Christians. We are Christians who love the Lord and want to see Him glorified in our lives. We want to be seen as competent young adults who are preparing themselves for their future lives. We do not want to be held to the same low standard that the culture has for their young adults. We want people to expect us to act like young adults and not like little children. We want to be different than the world. But sadly in American Churches today when Christian young people stand out from the world they generally stand out from the rest of the young adults in their Church as well. They become the outcasts from the youth.

To adult Christians: If you see a young adult in your Church who seems to not be hanging out with the youth group kids, start a conversation with them. It may just be that there is one of those "strange" kids in your Church. See if you can be that adult who treats them like a young adult Christian who has something expected of them. Do not treat them as some super special smart kid because they actually take an interest in their walk with the Lord. You can praise them for their maturity but it should be expected that a 14 year old Christian can carry on a conversation about the things of God. Please treat as the young adults we are and not as the children that most people our age act like.

I hope that this post is seen as a challenge from a young adult who knows all to well what it is like to be the one who sticks out from the crowd.

Planned Parenthood Update
For those of you that read my post from a few weeks ago. The man who assaulted me outside Planned Parenthood a few weeks ago was found. The DA called the other day and the man has a court date on December 7th. Please pray for the whole situation as we may have to go to court depending on what happens December 7th. Pray that justice and served and above all that God is glorified.

With love in the Lord,
Virginia